Holding her is dangerous!

Chapter 83: When I die, bury me at the Alltown Fresh...

• Furthest Place #9 is out Wednesday!

• Which means you have to order #10 now!

• People are saying nice stuff about us!

• We put that stuff you asked for back in the webstore!

• Tour Diary pt. 2 - Fake birds and real gas stations!

Hi there!

Hope you’re having a good weekend. I am catching up with some old friends and hanging out with their 3 year old daughter who, the first time I met her, introduced herself by saying “My name is Maniac and I just pooped my pants.” It isn’t and she did. I will live the rest of my life knowing I will never make as good a first impression as this kid.

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And now, because I am bad at impressions whether they be first or, in this case, 83rd, I have to open with a cute story about a child before I try to sell you some stuff. WHAT’S THE FURTHEST PLACE FROM HERE? #9 is out on Wednesday. This is the last of our trilogy of flashback issues with special guest artists. This month’s special guest artist is the great Sweeney Boo. Sweeney is just starting a run at DC as the artist on HARLEY QUINN and she has an amazing graphic novel out now called OVER MY DEAD BODY which you should pick up. But this week she drew our amazing story of the Academy, set more than a decade before WTFPFH? #1. It’s a quiet, sentimental story with a major revelation. Make sure to grab your copy this week. And you can check out this neato preview that Image put up if you want.

And a little note for you collectors- Like all the cool Image books, we made a variant cover with Spawn on it this month. The first waves of Spawn variants came out, sold out, and immediately had to go back to print. I don’t know if we will be reprinting our issue, but I do know it is going to be hard to get. So if you want it, maybe call your local comic shop now and let them know

Because of the holidays we also have to send issue #10 to print before issue #9 has sold. So if you want to read issue #10 it would be a big favor to all of us if you’d call, message, or pop into your local shop today and let them know you want a copy. Issue #10 is the return to our main story and a great jumping on point. It’s Sid’s story. Where she went and why. It’s my favorite part of the book so far and I think fans are going to start to lose their minds as we reveal a lot of big things over the next 8 issues. So yeah, if you want it, let your local shop know.

And issue #10 has some great covers by Tyler (of course), the legendary David Lapham (!?) 2 from the wonderful Gerry Duggan (?!), and a blank sketch cover for all you folks who like getting convention sketches from artists or just like practicing your art on pieces of paper with the logo of a book already on it.

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Other than that, not a lot going on besides trying to get work in before people vanish for holidays and breaks. But I had a couple nice shoutouts in other people’s newsletters this week, so I figured I’d return the favor.

My old pal Lauren from the excellent band WORRIERS had nice things to say about WHAT’S THE FURTHEST PLACE FROM HERE? in their newsletter. Give it a read and get excited for new music from them next year hopefully!

And the great Marc Guggenheim had some kind words about 4 KIDS WALK INTO A BANK this week in his newsletter. Marc is the man behind a lot of your favorite tv shows and comics and his newsletter is an excellent glimpse behind the scenes at both his work and the larger industries he works in. Go read it.

TWO DAYS TO TOO DEAD

And make sure to pick up his new graphic novel TOO DEAD TO DIE with the legendary Howard Chaykin, in stores now! Makes a great X-Mas/Hannukah/any occasion gift.

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Speaking of great gifts, a lot of you bought stuff in the webstore over the past week, so thanks. But also A LOT of you asked us to restock some stuff and put up some more. So in addition to the exclusive cover/bookplate edition of WTFPFH? vol. #1, we have a few more copies of DEAD DOG’S BITE with Tyler’s sketches in them, a very limited signed foil edition of WTFPFH? #7, and I put up copies of BATMAN URBAN LEGENDS vol. 1: GRIFTER AND RED HOOD, DC VS VAMPIRES vol. 1, as well as a few copies of the very limited 4 KIDS WALK INTO A BANK and WE CAN NEVER GO HOME hardcovers. There are some more kicking around, but when those are gone they’re gone forever. So if you want them might be a good time to grab them. If you order now will you get them by Christmas? Probably not. But maybe? I dunno. My post office was closed for 2 days because they couldn’t figure out how to unlock the front door this week, so I don’t have the highest confidence. But ‘tis the season for miracles, I guess.

And a bit further down I explain how you can get signed copies of WILDC.A.T.S. #1 and THE JOKER #1.

Okay. I promise I’m done trying to sell you stuff.

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WILD STATE / ROGUE C.A.T.S. Tour Diary pt. 2

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 10th.

Thursday’s kind of suck for store signings so I stayed home and worked.

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 11th.

I’m not going to do a signing tour and not give my hometown some love, so today was the day for NYC shops. Honestly there are so many shops I love in NYC but only so many hours in a day. So before my signing at Midtown Comics I popped into 2 of the best shops in the world to sign some stock.

First up was FORBIDDEN PLANET. Besides the fact that I used to work there, FP is a shop I’ve been shopping at since I was a kid. So it was nice to pop in, say hi, and sign some WILDC.A.T.S. issues.

Then I headed up to JHU in midtown. JHU has always been one of my favorite shops. If you’ve never been, you can see them in the new(ish) movie FUNNY PAGES, which was partially filmed in the store. Great staff, great selection. And I ended up spending too much money on stuff to read. I also signed their WILDC.A.T.S. and JOKER issues. They may even still have some signed ones if you’re in the neighborhood.

And then it was time to head up to MIDTOWN COMICS GRAND CENTRAL. It was also when the ass-end of a hurricane was hitting the city so it was raining about as hard as it ever does here. I fully expected nobody to show up, because why would you, but people are wild. We had a nice group of very wet folks waiting to get their books signed. It was very flattering but also a little absurd. If it’s raining that hard and I don’t have food in the house, I just don’t eat. Going to a signing like that? Nonsense. And Midtown has signed copies of WILDC.A.T.S. and JOKER for sale online. A huge thanks to Mario and Gahl for setting it up and always making me feel at home in my hometown. And a huge thanks to everyone who came out. I hope you eventually dried off.

I finished my signing and walked out just in time to see it had stopped raining completely and was a lovely night. That’s what my beatnik friends call Karma. I headed home and got stuff ready for Matt Pizzolo to pick me up.

He got to my house at like 10 and we drove down to Annapolis since our signing was at 11am the next morning. I realized on the way that I had forgotten to get dinner, so I made him take me to a WaWa, which is pretty much my go to anytime I drive through Jersey. I love a computer sandwich. We arrived at our very nice hotel at around 1:30 AM, at which point they informed us they had overbooked and did not have a room for us. But have no fear, because they had another hotel hold rooms for them in case that happened. So we hopped back in the car and headed to that hotel. Got there just before 2, at which point they informed us they had overbooked and didn’t have a room for us. But have no fear, because they had another hotel hold rooms for them in case that happened. So we hopped back in the car and headed to this 3rd hotel. We got there just before 2:30 and they had absolutely no idea what we were talking about or why we had a sheet of paper from the previous hotel saying we could stay there. But the man at the desk was maybe high as hell and not in the mood, so he gave us keys and told us to figure it out in the morning. The whole thing had strong Seinfeld vibes.

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 12th.

We woke up in our stolen hotel room, got some drinks, tried to figure out if our room was paid for but gave up quickly, and headed over to the amazing THIRD EYE COMICS. At no point do I know if anyone paid for the hotel, but we didn’t and Third Eye didn’t and that’s what really matters to me.

Third Eye is sort of my Platonic ideal of a comic shop. The staff are smart, friendly, and knowledgeable, the selection covers all corners of comic fandom, and the customers are always amazing and enthusiastic. A lot of my favorite signings I’ve ever done are at Third Eye.

When I plan a signing tour like this I always try to give myself plenty of time to get where we’re going, but forget that I end up shopping at the store after I sign for way too long and then we have to haul ass to the next spot. And Third Eye always makes that difficult because I wander and shop too much. But after spending a bunch of money, we ducked over to the Third Eye offices to hang out with owner Steve. A little secret of comics for you, Steve is the guy a lot of comic creators turn to for advice and market perspective. He sees the micro and the macro, the trends and the pitfalls. And it’s easy to see that the enthusiasm of his staff and customers is built into the DNA of what the store is. Plus he’s always wearing like an Integrity shirt or something and that makes me smile.

I pretty much hate a morning or afternoon signing, but only because I hate mornings and afternoons. But hitting the road at 2pm and already having one signing done for the day is a nice feeling. And you get some nice views on the drive back North.

So we hit the road towards EAST SIDE MAGS in Montclair, NJ. I’d signed at the old location years ago, and really liked it. It was a good example of how often comic shops make do with what they have in really creative ways. It was small but it was fun. So I wasn’t quite prepared for the new location being spacious, gorgeous, and just plain cool. A bunch of really enthusiastic fans came out. Someone even brought me an awesome Zealot sketch they did. I’d share it on here, but I don’t want to share without permission. Suffice to say, I really appreciated it and keep it on my desk.

As a side note, I especially appreciate that Jeff from East Side has a mandatory mask policy for everyone entering the store. I really hate the idea that someone would come see me at a signing and risk getting sick, or getting others sick. And I still had over a dozen more stores to hit, so I can’t be getting sick either. I am sure it gets him grief from people sometimes, so I wanted to acknowledge it. Thanks Jeff.

When the signing finished we, of course, hung out way too late and bought a bunch of stuff before piling back in Pizzolo’s car and heading home. I noticed downtown Montclair was really jumping. If you were the dude loading a cabinet into the back of his car that night, we’re the dudes who yelled “Assück!” at you. In our defense, dude was wearing an Assück shirt and… there isn’t really much more to say. Nice to see Florida grindcore representing on the mean streets of Montclair.

I ended up getting home around 10 at night and realized that we spent so much time buying comics and signing comics that we forgot to eat a single meal. Ooops. So I made dinner, worked on a script I had to finish, and went to bed. Another successful day of writing my name on stuff.

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 13th.

I woke up Sunday with enough time to have breakfast and really take my time heading up to the great AW YEAH COMICS in Harrison, NY. I didn’t have breakfast though because I’m a moron. Instead I worked for a while and then had to race up to the shop. As these things always go, we hit bad traffic, making it very stressful. But luckily Aw Yeah is pretty close to my house. And my not eating breakfast really paid off, because owner extraordinaire Marc got us donuts!

They had these Funko sodas at the shop and I don’t even know if they’re actual soda or like some sort of big-headed toy inside, but it allowed me to make an excellent DC VS. VAMPIRES joke. If you get it, thank you.

I love Aw Yeah because it is one of the most family friendly comic shops I’ve ever set foot in. It is thoughtfully designed and run to be an inviting place for people of all ages. And from that, you can often see young kids come in and really start to fall in love with comics. If we had 100 more shops like Aw Yeah out there I think we’d be seeing a very different industry right now. Anyway, Marc is the best, a tireless champion of comics and comic creators, and it is always fun to hang out with him. And then I bought a bunch of the Moebius BLUEBERRY issues and he didn’t stop me, and now I will be spending the next year tracking down the ones I’m missing. And I blame him for this and curse him for all the emptiness in my bank account! But also he’s great.

From there we headed up to PURE FOLLY BOOKS in Hudson, NY. Pure Folly is a new shop, and one I’d never been to, so I was looking forward to it. Also, I really like the Hudson Valley a lot. It’s just really pretty to drive through, even if I have to be trapped in a car with Pizzolo to do it. It was the tail end of leaf-peeping season, but I still peeped. I also got really excited because I thought I saw a hawk but it was a seagull. This would end up being a recurring theme of the trip. I guess I like birdwatching but am very bad at it, which, really I am okay with. You don’t have to be good at everything.

Anyway, it turns out Pure Folly is an awesome shop. Its meticulously curated by owner Edward, and he has great taste. It is very rare for me to go into a comic shop and see a ton of stuff I’ve never seen before or don’t know what it is, but Pure Folly had that in spades, which is the best feeling as a comic book nerd. Talking to Edward about it he said something that I thought was so beautiful. “Why would I want to sell you something I don’t believe in?” Obviously I understand the value of a comic shop trying to have “something for everyone” and that’s great. But there is something really beautiful about knowing that everything in the shop you’re visiting has the approval of the owner. It creates a sense of trust that is really confidence inspiring while shopping. And, as a creator, it makes me feel good to see my stuff on the shelves. The point of all this was that I spent too much money there but it was awesome and I hope to do it again soon.

On the drive home we once again realized we hadn’t eaten (except for the donut) and we needed gas. Being lazy assholes we decided to eat at the next gas station we saw. And what should we find but… THE STRANGEST GAS STATION EVER. (Not really, but real weird anyway.)

This weird spot was like if a Wawa and a Whole Foods had a baby. Maybe it’s from all the time I spent traveling the country in tour vans or roadtripping to shows, but I have a deeper knowledge of and respect for gas stations than anyone should, and this spot blew my mind. They sold frozen veggie dumplings and hemp milk and gift sets of different artisanal salts. It was fucking wild.

Yes, I realize I didn’t take pictures of any of the comic shops, or the crowds of people, or even the pretty leaves or fake hawks. But look how fucking strange this gas station is. I think on my deathbed I will probably still be thinking about this gas station.

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And with that, we conclude part II of our marginally exciting tour diary. Come back for part III next week to see if we find other weird gas stations and if I remember to take pictures of any of the shops (I don’t.)

Stay safe. Take care of each other. Take a picture. It will last longer.

-Matthew Rosenberg

NYC 12/18/22